Benefits of Faithfulness

“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?”
—Proverbs 20:6

We live in a society of constant progression. I can’t remember a time when there wasn’t any construction being done on the highways. Every day we see a new release of something: the next best phone, the next best car, the next best shoes. We desire the latest and greatest in every aspect of life. Sadly, it’s becoming that way in our relationships too.

I’ve never known men to be faithful to woman. In my lifetime I can’t recall ever meeting a man who prided himself on his faithfulness to his woman. It was a known fact among men that we would take what we could get, when we could get it. The closest thing to a faithful man that I met was in college, when one of my teammates said that because he was faithful to his girlfriend, all he would allow himself to do was go on dates with other women. I don’t think his girlfriend would have approved if she knew. Then of course you meet the men who want praise from women online, so they claim to be faithful in the comment section of posts like this. Then of course you have the women who think they understand men and swear that they’ve met millions of faithful men, but for some reason they’re single still. And lastly, there’s the women who thought their dads were Superman and could do no wrong but had no clue what they were doing behind their backs.

There are faithful men. I’m sure of that now.

For a long time I’d lost faith in men and our ability to be faithful to women. On the other hand I saw women as perfect beings who could do no wrong unless wronged by men. Then, over time, I began to see a different side of women. I’d reach out to women in search of matches for my male clients, and 90 percent of the women would say they were single. Then, once they found out I wasn’t asking for myself, they were in a committed relationship all of a sudden. I slowly began to lose faith in all of mankind’s ability to be faithful — faithful to our jobs, to our kids, or to our spouses.

Then I looked in the mirror and saw that I was a part of the problem as well. All my life I’d jumped from woman to woman, always looking for an upgrade as if I were dealing with cars. I was no different from any other man I knew. I decided to try something different. I decided to be faithful.

“If a man can love one woman without lying, cheating, or misleading, he can do anything!”
—Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

Many women were shocked and appalled when reading that quotation, but less than 1 percent had ever experienced a man who was 100-percent faithful to them. So what was so shocking? The truth of the matter!

I decided to be faithful to my wife from the day I married her. It’s very hard when you’re wired to reproduce and replenish the Earth and this unexplainable desire burns inside you. Any honest man will tell you that we desire to be with every woman we are attracted to. So to suppress that desire is one of the hardest things a man will do in his life.

The results of faithfulness:

A peace beyond my understanding
Chronic happiness
An uncontrollable sense of pride
A strong confidence
Love that feels like a fairy tale
A secure woman by my side
A drama-free love life
An incomparable sex life
A real connection with one human being
Unexplainable and uncontainable success

Being faithful to one woman has been the most challenging thing for me, considering my background as a womanizer, college athlete, poet, ladies’ man, etc. I wanted to be normal and cheat like every other guy I knew. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to make myself feel like I was more of a man by the amount of women I could get. Now things are different. I’m on a real-love movement. I’m even doing real-love seminars around the country for free. I pride myself on being faithful to my wife. I made mistakes early on in our relationship, and I even pushed her to places she didn’t want to be. Now it’s all good. We are about to celebrate seven years of marriage, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Once you allow yourself to build a real connection with one person, you’ll never want to trade it. For a lot of women, this is very easy to do, and they can’t understand why it’s so hard for men. Maybe you’re not meant to understand, because if you understood men fully, you may run the other way for the rest of your life.

To the guys reading this: If you’ve found that woman you can trust and build with, give faithfulness a fair shot. Settle down and love all of her and only her. Be faithful to your woman and watch the doors be unlocked in every other area of your life. You’ll experience a peace and clarity about life that you didn’t think was possible. Trust me. I’ve done it all when it comes to relationships, and nothing in the world compares with this feeling. I’m not writing this for praise or applause. I’m writing this because I want every human on Earth to experience what love really feels like when you have two fully committed people.

Let love love you!

Blessings,
Tony Gaskins